Waking up in a funk. Not feeling your best. Wrong side of the bed. These are things that happen to us.
I told a story recently about yoga experience that involved a guided meditation. Quick summary: it involved talking to my baby boy, Liam, who passed away in 2005, and some crying. It was, very simply, a healing experience.
What I also mentioned back in that post, somewhat shamefully, is that I watch Grey’s Anatomy. But more importantly it’s that I cry—a lot—while watching Grey’s Anatomy. Over the last couple-few weeks it’s come into my awareness that maybe I count on this show to do this thing for me. Maybe. This is what’s really interesting, though, ever since my guided-meditation-yoga-experience (that’s a bunch of episodes) I haven’t cried during the show.
The altered book directive. What you need: one (1) book, art supplies, your imagination. I love altering a book. I find it entirely relaxing to cut out a bunch of pictures in order to make new pictures. It can also work as a journal, a sketchbook, an art journal, a cookbook, a pop-up book, a children’s book, an erotic book, a comic book. You get it. Lots of things. I find that I like to doodle in mine when I’m working out my thoughts on something else. It sort of helps me clear out. It could just as easily be made with a specific intention, though. Like what? Like, well, what’s up with you right now? Personally, I could create a book around food and health–healthy food, healthy babies, feeling crazy because I’m trying to be healthy, feeling judgmental about health, feeling exhausted by it…that’s a good start. I might have to create that book. What is on your mind? A lot? Make an altered book about it.
I’ve been feeling unsure lately. Unsure of my direction…in my profession/in my future/as a mother/as a provider/as a person who needs to repay a pile of student loans. It gets confusing. I find myself out of balance and anxious. Sitting in my office today I was digging through some blogs, trying to figure out my blogging bend, trying to figure out how to make money, and I was feeling lost. So I thought I’d try some art therapy (strangely it was a light bulb moment–even though this is what I do). I decided to find some clarity. Collage style.
I started by setting an intention. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and repeated clarity a few times in my head. Then I wrote it down on my paper…not necessary, but I felt like I needed it to keep on task.
Creating a collage I often pick images that grab my attention. I try not to question it.
But I find myself going, “geesh, what the heck is this about?”, “Don’t put that in there, what will people think?” And I remind myself it’s the process. I take another breath.
In a really interesting coincidence, this story was being shared on the radio as I was typing this up. I’ll include a link to the audio as soon as WPR gets it up! And it’s up: listen here. It’s about working women slowing down and stepping back.
So how do I feel now? Better. My final image has given me some insight to my priorities. I also feel a sense of confidence in what I’ve been doing professionally and on the home front. I feel grounded, I’d say, overall.